Florida Writers Association

This past weekend I attended a one day conference with the Florida Writers Association. I agreed to head the creative writing contest with entries due by July and an award ceremony in November in Orlando. Now that I am home, I have received some information and boy talk about making something complicated. There must have been lawyer writers writing the stuff for that contest. Prizes are very low compared to SFWA of which I headed for two years. I need to find a manual for FWA because it seems to be a very complicated organization. Just to win first place in the contest which is only $100.00, a writer has to submit three copies, follow specific guidelines, send in an entry fee--I haven't figured out how much yet--and join the organization for $35.00 or $45.00. I wonder if I'd do that? There were only 100 entries last year, so if they get 100 this year, they should make lots of money, except there are many many categories. So perhaps there is not much competition. Oh well, I'll try it this year. Seem like friendly people.

Christian Writers Group

Saturday I attended a Christian Writers Critique Group where I met a writer named Pat. Pat and I spent two additional hours talking at Wendy's. I think we were ment to meet. I had been feeling really down for about tthree weeks with panic attacks. Actually, that meeting was the first social type meeting I've attended in a while. WEll, that doesn't count my dinner with Emily which is always a treat. Anyway, pat and i agreed to become writer buddies. Not real sure how that will work, but she id send me onee of her poems and a story that I critiqued. I hope I wasn't too critical. She's a different type writer than I am. She's more technical and scholarly. She works for Miami Dade County and agreed to show my son's resume around. She also teaches college writing classes, was a radio announcer, and is very active in her church. Nice lady. I do hope we become friends.

Keith and the kids came over tonight. I put a 1 pound roast, some potatoes, carrots, onions, minced garlic and three cups of ginger ale in a crock pot for seven hours. Put some chicken nuggets and french fries in the oven for Kaylee and made chicken soup for Jacob. The roast was okay. A bit sweet. I don't like that cut of meet so won't buy it again. Seven hours in the crock pot made it a lot less tough.

Tomorrow I hope I get out of bed early enough to make it to water arobics. I haven't been in a long time and need to get out and do it. This depression has got to get better. The pills help with the anxiety. We've going to Orlando this coming weekend where we will visit with Mother and Daddy. I have a writers conference in Orlando on Saturday that I am looking forward to. Joel goes to Argentina when we return on Sunday. I'll need to call Charlene and watch that video with her while Joel is away.

Garage Sale 2

Only two patrons at my garage sale irritated me. The housekeeper from across the street arrived in the morning, poked through everything, didn't speak or understand English and wouldn't accept any of the prices. I finally got rid of her by accepting ten dollars for whatever she had chosen. When she returned later, I just waved her off and refused to acknowledge her.

(More than likely she is undocumented. She keeps the four brats who have lived across the street for ten years. I've called the police on them a couple of times. The language heard has actually angered my son who was a Marine! The kids yell, cuss, and swear at their mother in English! I'll be surprized if those boys, who are now young adults, stay out of prison.)

The second was a large Haitian man who jumped out of his van and yelled for me to come to him immediately. He insisted, loudly that he wanted a pile of sheets for bargain. I kept shaking my head no. He yelled, "Bargain." So I walked to the pile, counted the pillow cases--50 cents each. Sheets $1.00 each, originally I had wanted $2.00.

" No," he said. "No good."

He and his wife spoke in Creole, so I walked away.

Then he yelled at me and motioned for me to return. I shook my head no. He walked to me and insisted that I return to count the sheets and bargain.

There were about ten people at my sale at this time. I had my wheelchair, but wasn't sitting in it. I stayed where I was and yelled; "I am an American. I do not bargain."

He looked contrite, shook his head, spoke softly. His wife got in the car. He said "I want to buy."

I walked to him, counted the sheets and he gave me ten dollars for the stack which was the bargain price of $1.00 each. I noticed that everyone in my yard, had stopped, listened, watched, and smiled. Several shook their heads yes. A couple of people stayed to talk with me afterward saying that they are sick of Miami life too. Afterall, this is America. I felt vindicated.

Garage Sale 1

Today our subdivision hosted a neighborhood garage sale. Multiple homes within this huge upper-middle class area dumped old unwanted stuff on their driveways and yards so folks searching for bargains or the unexpected gem could bicker over prices marked unbelievably low for once expensive items. Things included in my driveway were nearly new double bedsheets priced at $1.00 a piece, serviceable blankets at $2.00, as well as, numbered and retired Napcoware and Adrian figurines at $10.00 each. I had rummaged through only the living area and study of my four bedroom home for this yearly sale. I usually box stuff up about twice each year for the "White Elephant Sale" at our church. This year, I decided to see what would happen at a garage sale.

Vera, my housekeeper arrived early. My son's family arrived with their stuff shortly after that. My husband helped set up tables and then disappeared. He had a running session with his model train club scheduled for the Chili Festival at one of the parks. My son set up his bounce house as advertisement for his business.

I sat in my wheelchair, with my fanny pack, collected money, and distributed flyers for the bounce house business. Luckily Vera and I had already marked most all items so people didn't have to ask prices and could just pick stuff up and pay. I rarely agreed to lower my already very low prices--everything started at 50 cents. The most expensive item was $2.00 other than the figurines--which I ended up wrapping and giving to the White Elephant Sale ladies who showed up by accident.

(Their showing up really was an accident---or a devine set-up. The night before a thought came to me that I needed to contact Peggy--the White Elephant Lady- and suggest that we go ahead and have the sale again this year. I would help. The Two Peggys In charge since my name is also Peggy. )

At the end of the day, I made over two-hundred dollars and had gotten rid of all the stuff I didn't want. My husband even spoke about contributing to this again next year. (As long as there's another running session I guess.)

Relief

I finally did what my couselor suggested. I called my doctor and told him about the anxiety attacks. He prescribed Clonazepam. I'm to take 1/2 pill between breakfast and lunch and another half between lunch and dinner. It's generic for something or other that helps combat panic attacks. So, I took half a pill around three this afternoon and lay down on the bed. My blood pressure had gone up to 148/some other big number. The heart monitor said that was high blood pressure. I'm not surprized. My heart has been beating out of my chest for about three weeks now. I lay quietly thinking "I'm really not going to become adicted to anything. I really need this. I trust the doc." I reminded myself that it takes time for pills to dissolve and it would take a while for anything to change. Within about twenty minutes or less, I felt a noticable difference. I felt calm and smiled for the first time in a while. I was able to make decisions and cook dinner and actually ate some of it. I don't feel anxious now. It's almost ten so I need to get to bed. The garage sale is tomorrow and I'm almost ready. Need to clean up the house some because the grandkids will be here in the morning.

Attack of the Scary Anxiety

I've spend many hours laying on the couch scared of absolutely nothing. I feel like Monk. For no reason at all, I feel frightened. My heart speeds up. I can feel it pounding. I feel hot and start to perspire until I shake and feel lightheaded. I wonder if I'm having a heart attack. I know my heart is fine and there is nothing around me causing fear. I lay on the sofa, place my sweaty palms on my stomach, take deep breaths and watch my stomach expand. I blow out through my mouth thinking "there is nothing to fear. Slow down. You're fine." After a few minutes, I begin to relax, my breathing slows, and the heat dissipates. My heart rate slows but I'm still so light headed I dare not get up. These panic attacks occured over the past two weeks. Just at the same time I restarted taking Prozac.